White Rose on a Glass of Wine

LOL!!

2006-04-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

hmm.. Blogging after almost a year? Feels strange.

Recently, a few of my friends broke off with their GF's. 2 of them to be exact

First one, his Gf was a cancer. Hearing from what he told me. His Gf's attitude was like me.
Sensitive, easily angry. I Totally saw myself in her although i saw her only twice. It reminds me of my ex-gf. Although i still kept her picture in my wallet. I gave up on her.

Second one, his gf went out with a group of guys a lied to him that she was with her mother. The betrayal of trust.
All along i dun have a sense of security in all my relationship which all failed. I told myself that i must learn to trust other ppl and this happened. One of the few element that lead to the failure of the relationship. sense of secruity is hard to built in me.

After all this incident i realised somethings missing in me. There was an emptiness. I was running away from something.I used work and going out with friend to try and numb myself. Even went i feel for a girl, i will always tell myself i cannot love anyone.

During my last semester, there was this girl in my sports and wellness class. she was always late and so do i. We were partners most of the time and try to cover for her. During the second last class she asked for my hp number and MSN add. I actually wanted to ask her instead she ask me. kind of shocking.

The fear of failure and rejection reappeared. I Only can hang on there.

Ahhh...... At last i said it out.

A new Chapter in life

2005-05-21T14:35:00.000+08:00

I'm going to step into a new chapter in life.. Going for a poly education.. Fortunately robin is in the same course with me.. i would not feel so lonely..

Ive been feeling down lately... I can't get pumped up.. Something is on my mind but i dun what is it.. It's seems that there is a seal in my mind.. Litingx nick seems to be very true... "The one with the loudest laugh hides the greatest pain".. During the orientation i suffered this faith.

For the past 3-4 weeks i was ok... Maybe because i am too focus in helping out at the store and i'm suffering the side effect of numbing myself.. Maybe i have to much commitment ahead.. maybe i lack socialising...

I'm suppose to go on my last fishing trip before sch starts.. Sadly i might not be able to go...

The old me i use to be, seems to be missing.. what's wrong? Hopefully the old me will come back A.S.A.P

FrOzEnHrT

I think I'm drowning asphyxiatingI wanna break the spell that you've created you're something beautifula contradictionI wanna play the game I want the frictionyou will be the death of me yeah, you will be the death of me

-=??????=-

2005-04-17T23:13:00.000+08:00

Tomolo is Rachel's bday.. It suddenly struck me like an arrow... I don't know should I buy her a gift or not.. There no communication between us...Tried smsing her for the pass 1 yr not even a replay..

18th April 2004 is the day where our past relationship start to collapse.. After a year.. Why do i still feel pain for her... Do i still miss her and like her??

I need to carry on with life...I dun wish this memory to be carved into my brain for eternity. I actually forgot her bday.. However my mum's phone (My old phone) has her bday date in the calendar with the alarm. It was such coincident when I was just about to play with the phone the alarm rang...I really wish i could forget about her...

There is no eternal love in this world. Hopefully there will also not be eternal memories...

*-=^FrOzEnHrT^=-*

BORED!!!

2005-03-26T21:56:00.000+08:00

Traveling too and fro to the hospital is drianing me out soon.. Recently there are too much worries in my mind.. My father trying to find someone to reopen the stall.. My mother's condition and looking after my father.. His not very alert at the moment so i had to look out for him.. Miss my fishing days alot..I may also have to give up my luxurious life.. Hopefully both my parents can retire..

My mind is totally blank.. dunno what to do.. Hopefully someone will enlighten me and be my side..

New template

2005-03-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

Woah.. first time trying to insert 1 template into this blog.. not very hard..haha Sadly there is no archive for my pass post which i would like to have some memories about..But i like this template.. suddenly like black rose design..

haiz...

2005-03-22T14:16:00.000+08:00

just why do i fal in love with someone who might not like me?
i constantly able to stop myself.. reject myself.. why suddenly i fail? this person is spinning on my mind.. damn.. all i can do is just sit back and hope she's happy and unharm from the cruel world...

got the JAE posting results today.. i got into NP Internetworking and communication.. it's my first choice.. but i just can't get pump up..

there is no eternal love..

The most adaptive survives the harsh society

what is this feeling?

2005-03-22T01:58:00.000+08:00

After a long long while.. this feeling is back .. but why come back at this time?? is it right to go for it? i kept trying to back off.. the fear is there..
izzit a good thing for it to come back?

Sometime i really wish that someone will be by myside.. going through thick and thin together.. accompany one another... but it seems that i am not very succesful in this area...

ok than sleeping time!~!~!

2005-03-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

Your element is Rain: Sad, lonely, distant and
unique. You are quite distant from emotion and
people, but you have been made this way by one
thing or another. You are truly unique yet fail
to see it, and are quite creative be it in art,
music, writing, ect.. You used to let people in
now you don't even bother to try having been
hurt so many times in the past. Your attitude
is that you don't need anyone but yourself,
people are just trouble waiting to happen. But
you really do want to trust someone no matter
if you see it or not, deep down your waiting
for someone to come and set you free. This kind
of depression can turn dangerous, don't let
them get to you. Not everyone in the world will
hurt you, humans are humans and are not
perfect. So most likely sooner or later you'll
meet someone who feels like you do and perhaps
your shell will eventually disappear.

.:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking
for a relationship. You cannot live without it.
Your lover must be passionate and you want
that you and your partner melt into each other.
He/She should not try to take the domination .
You dont want a relationship without passion,
and the sexuality plays a big part. The first
moment you meet him/her is one of the most
important. There has to be something between
you , you cannot explain. From the first moment
on everything must fix. But when this passion
disappears you disappear to. For you it is
better to leave than to see your love
restrained.

PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything
because your eyes are covered up by tears! You
are constantly hurt and depressed... No one
seems to understand how you feel because
everyone is scared to get close to you... You
long to be able to reach out and tell someone
everything, and all of your problems... But you
have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to
want to hear what you have to say. You've been
hurt many times that you don't seem to have any
tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an
endless river flowing... You've started to hide
and bottle up all or your problems and
feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go
away... You want company, but at the same time,
you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your
room where you can just be alone and try to
throw away all of your aching pains. You're
dark and mysterious and people like you for
that reason. Even if you think you're all by
yourself in the dark, someone is always there
with you. Your special someone wants to admit
and show their feelings towards you, but
they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out
more and enjoy life because, it is far too long
to frown your way through :)

What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-06T17:46:00.000+08:00

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-06T00:36:00.000+08:00

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen!

2005-03-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

Love

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-06T00:04:00.000+08:00

Your Heart is Grey

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-06T00:02:00.000+08:00

You are the spirit of wisdom. You are wise beyond
your years and know what others don't. You are
what others need in a freind. You might appear
shy but are strong.

What kind of element fey are you? (PRETTY PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ha ha ha

2005-03-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

Nothing better to do so i surf the net and look at ppl profile.. i found this intresting profile created by *.+CrEsEnCiA +.* on myspace... so i did the quiz also.... above are the quiZ

-_-

2005-02-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

It's beenm quite a long time since i wrote here...

Ever wonder why I never learn to rebel my parents like what my brother did last time? Ever wonder why I fall in love with fishing??

The reason is whenever I see my parent working hard. I will think.. why are they working so hard? They already had a burden and if I would have rebel… they will have more problem.

The only leisure I had was fishing.. other than computers… I would have to juggle between helping them although I am paid and fish… Only fishing allows me to clear my mind off unhappiness… Every time I pushed my self after a long offshore trip…I will drag my self to help them at the store no matter how tired… they din’t even farking do anything… instead they keep nagging ( PLAY UNTIL SO TIRED AH… GOING TO FALL SICK LIAOZZ!!!) I would rather they keep their mouth shut and let me pass the day ASAP… To fish sometimes.. I even had to fish after work… after 12mid night…

How selfish could they be? Imagine when my mother get the wrong idea that my bro had an asthma attack… She Said “ si liaoz lah.. an an asthma attack… tomolo how to work?!?!?!” although my bro seldom help them… We are their children… sometime they treat us like slaves… Even my sister last time had to work for them during the weekends after her job as a teacher… We all understand their job are very exhausting… we dun really blame them.. but can they wake up their idea and be nicer to us?

I never ever had a time when after I finish fishing I could rest well at home... I would have to head to work at the store…

2005-01-28T17:26:00.000+08:00

SEA BASS!

Skyline

2004-11-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Long Long time ago in india.. there are 2 person.. 1 of them is call skyline a male, another Silvia a female,, both of them are lovers..They study in the same school however skyline is older than Silvia by 1 yr..
Silvia has another admirer CRX.. who is in the same class as silvia

skyline is a person who is very sensitive and get jealous very easily.. One day skyline join silvia and her group of friends out to the country side cycling... Unfortunately one of their friend's bike broke down far behinde us and silvia had to reach home by a certain time.. knowing the terrian of the place.. he stay back and brought a machanic to their friend while silvia and her friends went home.. Skyline was abit upset as silvia could not wait for him.. after fixing the bike.. skyline hoped that silvia would msg him to care for him.. unfortunately there was not even a single msg... Skyline reached home and switched on the computer.. he saw silvia online.. he was very very upset as she did not msg him.. Skyline confronted her.. but soon felt that he has no right to be upset.. he was sorry...

Few days later.. Silvia with her group of friend.. this time include CRX and not skyline.. the relationship was at the edge,, skyline confronted her again.. they broke up...

the relationship lasted for 3-4 months.. a memorable one for skyline..
Lesson learn.. trust is very crucial in a relationship... being too sensitive would wreck a relationship.. Skyline sensitivity was due to putting to much feeling into the relationship..

Skyline

Education

2004-11-03T17:12:00.000+08:00

3 days of examinations had pass... i'm totally drained out... what will my results be like? i'm breaking down soon... hopefully i will do better than my result..

2004-10-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

Been studying hard for this few day.. hoping for grades in the O's ... Suddenly my hearts seems so cold... can't feel anything.. no emmotions.. what happen to my heart? Frozen?
Skyline

2004-10-17T19:04:00.000+08:00

this are the pictures

Skyline

2004-10-17T19:01:00.000+08:00

just came back from my trip... water quite rough.. location i dunnoo.. but shiok even on those small ang chor....
Skyline

???

2004-10-09T11:16:00.000+08:00

I have decided to take the so call exam.. dun want to take risk..

What the hack!

2004-10-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

I happily bought my reel and collected my rod... getting ready for the fishing trip on the 15 of october... Than today Miss Racheal Tan said.. guys! bad news for u.. u have to come back to sch on the 15th!... FARK CARE!!! I AM SUFFERING FROM WITHDRAWEL SYMTOMS.. I am ditermine to go..

Miss Tan i wish u could understand my absents... i need to relax my mind.. i need to go have a clear brain before i set out for my O lvl's ... u urself also notice the amount of stress.. pls understand...

This fishing trip marked the end of the fishing season of 2004!

TIghT lines always...

Come to my result.. i took back my papers.. result was not that bad after all.. But i cannot slack... I still need to push my self real hard... WAke up yang yang... Some how i could feel the heat of competition getting up...

What is my future?

2004-10-03T01:52:00.000+08:00

Today, my father talk to me about my future education.. All he want me to do is get into a JC... which is impossible for me now.. He also said that if u have good results.. dun go poly.. i sent u str8 to oversea University... what's happening man.. I cannot even decide what is my ideal course...

:(

2004-09-28T17:54:00.000+08:00

Suddenly wake up feel so depress about my performance... Yesterday night i can't sleep well.. lay on the bed for freaking 2 hr.. i still can clear off thoughs of my brain... haiz.. today maths paper estimated around 10- 12 marks gone... For chemistry.. estimated around 5-10 marks gone... Maths paper 2 3 freaking construction.. and was stuck on loci... haiz... Die liaoz like that... my hope of getting A's for my maths and science quite slim.. There are so many thoughs in my brain.. i can't clear off.. how am i going for my o lvls? Practicle is around the corner.. 18oct..

Going jo's house around 7 hopefully with ppl around me.. i good get back on tip top performance..
Just wondering what will happen if my parents or family found out of this blog? will they like stop nagging at me and leave me alone to solve my own problem? or will they just act as if they din't see this? i prefer to work things out on my own..

2004-09-28T14:10:00.000+08:00

HO HO HO.... SIao liaoz... today chemistry paper and e maths paper... seems like my aim of A1 very slim... haiz... i need result... i need to fish... Just ordered a Shimano torium 16.. have to pay up this friday...
Skyline

Exam pressure..

2004-09-27T13:08:00.000+08:00

Map reading for geo today will be a nightmare for the class.. 3/4 of them don't know what to do.. teacher never teach us how to do.. only teach the another class... maybe not enough time ah.. Was fortunate... went to jo's house and saw an example of the same kind of question... What i study came out ah.. however.. just feel weird man... hopefully i can A1 for my maths and science my forte... Dead meat man...

tomolo chemistry and a maths paper... exam stress man... The typical singapore kaisu.. must get good grade pass not enough... lol... i am abit crazy today thought...

Yah.. some ppl maybe commenting my blog so plain.. i want it plain.. it reflects my personality.. i am plain too..

2004-09-26T16:26:00.000+08:00

See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel

farking shit..

2004-09-26T01:03:00.000+08:00

my mum told me.. u are allowed to go for a fishing trip before ur o lvl exams after ur prelims.. My motivation increased.. looking forward for the fishing trip... i studied hard for my exam so i can relax later... hope all crushed.. AT 0000hr exactly... i annouced my plan to my mother and what did i get? NO NO NO!!! U only can go for a 1 day trip not 3 days trip... And now i only can go base on my performance on the prelims... :( .... suffering from withdrawal symtoms.. farked

I fall in love with this song " FUCK IT( I DON'T WANT U BACK)".

What a day....

2004-09-25T22:14:00.000+08:00

The same old problem comes to me again... It's so demoralising having 1 2 3 in the N lvls ans having the 4 5 6 in o lvls... doing geo elective today.. wth... The way the question is asked in the TYS are totally different from what i have learn... not as direct.. How? left with only 5 subject... chinese confirm fail one.. lol. headache ah.. tomolo still have to go tuition.. dunno to cancel anot.. Failing is not an option... Than what is an option for me?

Super full...

2004-09-25T01:39:00.000+08:00

Nothing better to do... so ask adrain out for makan... when to eat prata... ( 1 cheese 1 egg 1 plain 1 nasi goreng pataya 2x sarsi) whahahah!!! shiok... before that saw at bedok jetty with one of a forummer... Surfcaster.. skillful ah he... catch sotong.. haha.. I wanted to put a tag board.. but it seems so troublesome.. want to find new tamplates too... but too lazy... What to do? TOO FAT LIAOZ... :x Sleeping time...

2004-09-24T18:01:00.001+08:00

Siggy made by mathew

2004-09-24T18:01:00.000+08:00

someone i still miss SHHH!!!

2004-09-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

cycling expedition to CBD area.. Terrence cUTE ashis also CUTE lester CUTIES :x

2004-09-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

my first ofshore fish crossing the 3kg mark on light tackle

Study Study Study..

2004-09-24T17:32:00.000+08:00

Nothing better to do? study loh... O lvl coming soon... I cannot wait for my prelim to finish.. hand's are itchy.. need to fish.. lol.. first time doing a blog... weird ah.. Plan to pay up my fishing rod by the end of this month.. plan to get a decent reel for offshore.. total cost almost $700 siao liaozz... october going indonesia.. need to spend again...