LOL!!

hmm.. Blogging after almost a year? Feels strange.

Recently, a few of my friends broke off with their GF's. 2 of them to be exact

First one, his Gf was a cancer. Hearing from what he told me. His Gf's attitude was like me.
Sensitive, easily angry. I Totally saw myself in her although i saw her only twice. It reminds me of my ex-gf. Although i still kept her picture in my wallet. I gave up on her.

Second one, his gf went out with a group of guys a lied to him that she was with her mother. The betrayal of trust.
All along i dun have a sense of security in all my relationship which all failed. I told myself that i must learn to trust other ppl and this happened. One of the few element that lead to the failure of the relationship. sense of secruity is hard to built in me.

After all this incident i realised somethings missing in me. There was an emptiness. I was running away from something.I used work and going out with friend to try and numb myself. Even went i feel for a girl, i will always tell myself i cannot love anyone.

During my last semester, there was this girl in my sports and wellness class. she was always late and so do i. We were partners most of the time and try to cover for her. During the second last class she asked for my hp number and MSN add. I actually wanted to ask her instead she ask me. kind of shocking.

The fear of failure and rejection reappeared. I Only can hang on there.

Ahhh...... At last i said it out.